Subject: Something to think about.

I saw this on my dashboard the other day. And while I would normally just read and move on…this time I couldn’t.

“I’m the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen. I’m the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers. I’m the girl who wouldn’t make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy. I’m the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant. I’m the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. I’m the girl who won’t make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead. I’m the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of. I’m the girl who would give the world to see you smile.”

Personally, I don’t give a shit about how you view love, relationships, or any damn thing. I also understand that people don’t like making things complicated. However…this line is complicated: “I’m the girl who wouldn’t make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy.” All right, the first half is a little weird, but hey, if you like being a slave for your guy…then I guess that works for you. I do have issues with the second half though: “[I] would do anything to make you happy.”

First of all, do you value yourself? And just how much? Because if you “would do anything to make [him] happy,” would you think about yourself? I’m not saying that you should be selfish and that the relationship should only be about you, but then again, it shouldn’t be all about him. For one thing, are his interests in your interest? Better question: does he ever think about what you want?

I used to be the type of girl who would have totally said yes to all those characteristics listed above. But then real life struck. And I realized that while I’d love to say that I would do anything to make him happy…I wouldn’t. I would like to remain sane. I would like to keep my independence. I would like to be free to do and say whatever I choose. But most importantly, I would like to preserve my self dignity.

It’s naive to believe that you’ll be happy if you do everything he wants. Really. Life doesn’t work that way. He’s going to use you. He’s not going to appreciate you. He’ll be so used to your subservience that when you finally wake up one day and realize what a shitty idea it was…it’ll be too late.

A relationship should be equal. Tit for tat. If you put effort into it, I’ll put effort into it. If you don’t put that much effort into it, then I won’t put that much effort into it. It should be balanced. There’s no need to overcompensate or overdo it - why put yourself through all that hassle when you’re not going to be rewarded for it? Don’t be a martyr. Live. There’s a reason why you’re still alive. You don’t need to be a maid to someone’s commands.

With all that said, here’s my (updated) version of it:

“I’m the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen if I know that you’re being sincere and thoughtful rather than cheap. I’m the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers if I don’t like the crowd or if I know that nothing good will come out it. I’m the girl who wouldn’t make you wait on her hand and foot unless it’s my birthday, but would do anything to make you happy only if you would do anything to make me happy. I’m the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant if we don’t feel like going out to a fancy restaurant or whatever other event. I’m the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk if you need someone to talk to or if we just don’t feel like going out and/or getting drunk. I’m the girl who won’t make you hold her bags at least not more than humanly possible and only when I have too many bags to carry, but would rather hold your hand instead if it’s clean. I’m the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of if you could make me fall more in love with you with every passing day we’re together. I’m the girl who would give the world to see you smile if I know that you’d give the sun, the moon, and the stars to make me laugh.”