Subject: Musings.
Yesterday was my last day of radiation. WOOOO!!! Only 6 cycles of chemo left…
I was supposed to go in for chemo on Wednesday, but my platelet count was 5000 below the accepted amount (45,000::50,000). So, it’s delayed till Monday. I’m not all that upset about it, because the delay gave me a chance to visit Aunt Scarlett and Gary at the SF international terminal yesterday while they were waiting for their transfer to Taiwan. Aunt Scarlett is actually Professor Scarlett Jang at Williams, where she teaches East Asian art. She’s not exactly my aunt; we’re not related by blood, but by complex Chinese tradition (“Aunt” is an honorific name given to all of your parents’ female friends, married or single. I hope this is a sufficient explanation; I’m not sure how to describe it). But I think our families have become close enough that she’s pretty much a real aunt to me (and Gary my uncle).
So I realized that I may not have really talked about what I do on my free days (days when I’m out of the hospital). Because I have some time tonight, I think I’ll overshare about my personal life. I hope I don’t regret this…
ON GOOD DAYS (when I’ve fully recovered from a bout of chemo):
Mornings. I either wake up early or wake up late, according to your personal opinion. I think I wake up early for a college student; usually around 8:30. I get ready, eat breakfast, and am usually out the door by 9:15. I drive around 45 minutes to get to San Mateo for acupressure. That takes around 1.5-2 hours, and I finish by 12. We then go to a restaurant to eat lunch, and afterward we either head home or go shopping. Lately, the trend has been more shopping, and less lounging around the house. But if I do lounge around the house, I usually read novels, chat with friends online, watch a movie, read random sites, make jewelry, listen to music, practice viola or guitar, and/or occasionally write a blog/tumblr post (and now I’ve enrolled for an online mixology/bartending course!). On the other hand, if I go shopping, I prefer shopping at outdoor shopping plazas/malls where there are less crowds and a lesser chance of catching a cold. I shop for whatever strikes my fancy, although I’ve been trying shop with winter in mind, since Williams will undoubtedly be freezing. I’ve begun to buy layers, something that I neglected to do when I was still in Socal. I believe I may have walked out in either sandals or flip flops in the middle of January at one point…
Anyways. Shopping mostly takes an entire afternoon. We eat out, since on most occasions we’re not close to home. Then we come back and I log on my laptop, and remain online until curfew at 10 PM (the disadvantage of living at home with your parents).
It’s a pretty easy going life (on the days when I’m feeling well). It does go by pretty quickly, mainly because we have a lot of driving to do. But it may also be because I no longer keep track of time. I only count down the days to either one of three things: 1.) finishing chemo 2.) summer 3.) beginning of school. However, I really do like the fact that I now have time to do nothing. It’s just such a nice change from my last 4 hectic years at Troy.
In contrast, on my bad days…I don’t think that way about my life at all. I usually have a mental shutdown (meaning I don’t think anymore) because the pain is all I can focus on.
A bad day looks like this:
Drag myself out of bed at 8:30. Get ready by 9:15. At acupressure by 10. Finish by 12 but drive and get home by 1. SLEEP FOR THE REST OF THE DAY because I can no longer handle consciousness. I’m fatigued and most likely in pain (headache and/or nausea). Wake up for dinner. And then back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Luckily, I seem to remember my good days more than my bad days. I suspect my brain is purposely forgetting the unpleasant stuff that happens. Even now, I don’t really know if I have more bad days or good days. I think I have more good days, but maybe I have more bad days (according to my mom)? I honestly have no idea? I just move on.
